Tuesday, October 29, 2013

TMI - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! The Big Squeeze!!! National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

DAD TMI mean Too Much Information!  You may want to skip this one. Sorry there are no pictures, but that is probably a good thing. 
Pimples wrapped around my chest up over my shoulder and around to my back.  I couldn't wear clothes. I was pretty sure that I had shingles, I had had had them once in high school, but not open weeping sores.  So I make a make an appointment with my family doctor who really is the nicest lady and feel bad showing her my gross owies. She says yep looks like shingles, but what is that huge lump in your chest, walnut sized.  What??  Oh no!  Tears!!!  Then they schedule me for a sonogram, yep there is a lump, more tears!  Have you ever had shingles?  They cause a lot of tears, and then finding out you have a lump more tears.  So then they ask you a hundred times about your family history and that causes more tears!  Lucky ladies doing the sonogram, did I mention that there was a student there to watch, yay more tears!!!  Did I mention that I just had a hysterectomy?  More tears!!!!  So then the main doctor over the department comes in and tells me that I have to have a Mammogram.  So they do the left side first great I can handle that, now they start on the right side where the shingles are.  The chick doing the mammogram is trying to be so careful and nice, and I am crying and thinking just get this done.  She keeps reminding me to breath and I keep holding my breath and gritting my teeth.  We get the first picture done, and then she goes in for the second,  and I am hanging on for dear life and my shingles are screaming in pain.  And then I wake up on the floor.  With the technician standing over me.  She is crying and trying to get me off the floor.  She just kept saying "You were just hanging there!, You were just hanging there!" 
So here is my plug to get a Mammogram, just don't do it when you have shingles.         

I have to add I am just fine now, as my super awesome lame ass  yucky Dr Vasquez in Moab told me and I quote "you just have lumpy, bumpy boobs!"  As you can see the bedside manner in Moab is overwhelming!


Jessie said...

Okay, that made me laugh until I cried and then I told my paralegal and we both laughed again. But you have got to tell us about that lump because we worry about the people we love. I hope everything turns out well. You're in our prayers!

Stacy Mallory said...

I am just fine now, this was months ago, just a little bit more bitter to the health care professionals in Moab.